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- To do the traditional 69 position, align yourself face-to-genital with your partner.
- To make things more comfortable for everyone, you can also try 69-ing on your side.
- Compared to some other sex positions, 69-ing increases the chance of a simultaneous orgasm.
- Visit Insider's Health Reference library for more advice.
Love to give and receive in bed? 69 may be the perfect sex position for you and your partner.
Here's how to do a couple different 69 positions as well as the benefits of it compared to other sex positions.
How to do the 69 position
Put simply, the 69 position means that the partners are positioned face-to-genital rather than face-to-face, says sex and relationships therapist Stefani Goerlich, LMSW-Clinical, LISW.
Luckily, getting into the 69 position is very straightforward. Follow these steps from Goerlich to assume the position:
- Have one partner lie down flat on their back on the bed.
- The other partner can get on top and align their face with the lying partner's pelvis, and their pelvis with the lying partner's face. Play around with what feels most comfortable here. If you're on top, you can put your knees on either side of the lying partner's head and then prop yourself up with your hands or elbows on either side of your partner's pelvis.
- Once you're both comfortable, you can give and receive mutual oral sex, manual stimulation, or use toys.
If the couple involves someone with a penis and someone with a vulva, Goerlich recommends that the penis-haver be the person who lies down, so that the vulva owner can control the depth of penetration during oral sex.
"When the positions are reversed, it's not uncommon for an enthusiastic penis-haver to press down a bit too far into their partner's mouth, restricting airflow and causing a bit of discomfort," says Goerlich.
How to do the horizontal 69
The traditional 69 might not be comfortable for everyone. If you'd like, you can try a horizontal variation of 69.
Goerlich says this variation can be good if traditional 69 feels too claustrophobic for the partner who's lying down or uncomfortable for the person who has to bear their weight above their partner.
Follow these steps to get into a horizontal 69 position:
- Both partners should lie on their sides on the bed, head to foot.
- Then both partners can position themselves to align their pelvises with the other partner's face.
- Once comfortable and in position, you can give and receive oral sex, manual stimulation, or play with toys.
The benefits of 69-ing
Aside from being super sexy, the 69 position comes with a few benefits, too. Goerlich says some of the perks of 69ing include:
1. Mutual engagement: During 69, both partners are actively engaged at the same time. This can reduce feelings of imbalance or lack of reciprocity that one might feel when giving or receiving oral sex, alone. Both partners are giving and receiving equally.
2. Gender-inclusive: No matter your gender or your partner's gender, you can experience pleasure from 69ing. The position can work with any combination of genitals, as long as it's comfortable for you and your partner.
3. Reduced body anxiety: If you feel self-conscious about your body during foreplay or sex, 69 may be a good option for you: "69 can be a great way to reduce everyone's view down to a narrow bit of the landscape and to hide perceived flaws," says Goerlich. The less self-conscious you are during sex, the more likely you are to enjoy it.
4. Greater chance of orgasm for vulva owners: If you have a vulva, chances are you need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. A 2017 study found that 36.6% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm -- and oral sex is a great way to get this kind of touch.
5. Chance of mutual orgasm: For couples who want to orgasm simultaneously, 69 is a great option because you can closely monitor your partner's bodily reactions while also experiencing your own, which can make a mutual orgasm a little easier to accomplish than in other sex positions.
Insider's takeaway
It can take a little bit of practice to really get comfortable in the 69 position, but once you have it figured out, there's sure to be lots of simultaneous pleasure for both you and your partner.
Remember that during sex, communication is key. Keep the line of communication open so you can make your partner feel as good as possible, and vice versa.